An Empire of Broken Toys
by endlessdreamer13
Summary: COMPLETE! Even as a child, when things got really bad, Willow Rosenberg never felt as though she were truly alone. She knew that there was someone out there looking for her. She just never expected to fall in love with her guardian angel.
1. Part One: Childhood's Hour

An Empire of Broken Toys

Rating: R

Disclaimer 1: The heavens would weep with joy if I ever came to own Buffy.

Disclaimer 2: I do not own the poem 'Misty'. The word Misty has been replaced.

Summary: Even as a child, when things got really bad, Willow Rosenberg never felt as though she were truly alone. She knew that there was someone out there looking for her. She just never expected to fall in love with her guardian angel.

**Part One: Childhood's Hour**

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My name is Willow I am but three,  
My eyes are swollen I cannot see,  
I must be stupid I must be bad,  
What else could have made

made my daddy so mad?

I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,  
Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me.  
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong  
Or else I'm locked up all the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone  
The house is dark my folks aren't home  
When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,  
So maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound! I just heard a car  
My daddy is back from Charlie's Bar.  
I hear him curse my name he calls  
I press myself against the wall

I try and hide from his evil eyes  
I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry  
He finds me weeping he shouts ugly words,  
He says it's my fault that he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me and yells at me more,  
I finally get free And I run for the door.  
He's already locked it and I start to bawl,  
He takes me and throws me against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken,  
And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken.  
"I'm sorry!", I scream but it's now much too late  
His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain again and again  
Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!  
And he finally stops and heads for the door,  
While I lay there motionless sprawled on the floor

My name is Willow and I am but three,  
Tonight my daddy Murdered me.

Willow sat quietly in her seat, trying to keep her attention of the teacher. She tried not to fidget from all her bruises.

She didn't like kindergarten very much. All the other kids had friends and played with each other. She wanted to say 'hi', but she was too scared.

They were supposed to be coloring what they had done over the summer. All the other kids were eagerly into their task. She didn't know what to draw, she'd spent her summer locked in her room.

Her grip tightened on the yellow crayon. Yellow was a happy color. Yellow meant the outside. Yellow meant warmth.

She jabbed the yellow crayon onto her paper in anger. It broke.

Fear shot down her spine. Would she get in trouble? Would the teacher hit her? Would the teacher tell her parents? That last thought made her cry. She didn't want anyone telling her parents that she was bad.

She jumped as she felt a hand clasp onto her shoulder.

"Hi!" Willow looked up to see a little boy smiling at her. "Why are you crying? Don't be sad!"

"I-I..." she sniffled, trying not to cry. "I b-broke the yellow crayon..." She held the pieces in her tiny hands.

Willow froze waiting for him to tell the teacher and get her in trouble.

"Miss Calendar!" The boy called out. The woman made her way over to them, smiling.

Willow inwardly cringed, waiting to get in trouble, and trying to push down her anger at the boy.

"Do you need anything Xander?" Miss Calendar asked.

"Willow and I were coloring," he said and Willow waited for him to tattle, "And I accidentally broke the yellow crayon. Can we have another?"

The teacher smiled. "Of course." She walked over to the big table and got them one. "Have fun."

Willow sat there, not knowing what to think. He knew her name; he knew who she was. Those were the first thoughts that entered her mind. Then it finally sunk in, what he'd done. He'd taken the blame for her. He hadn't gotten her in trouble.

Xander curiously looked at the girl before him. She looked more like two than four, but he wasn't one to make fun of her. He knew what it felt like to be different. He didn't really know what had made him go to her. Maybe it was that she looked so alone sitting there, so fearful. He'd seen her the past week; she hadn't spoken to anyone. He had begun to feel something completely different as the days went on. He wanted to protect her.

"Hi." Xander smiled at her.

Willow smiled back.

* * *

Willow slowly closed the door, hoping not to disturb her mother, who was lying drunk in front of the T.V.

She tried to sneak quietly up to her room. "Willow!" She froze, hearing her mommy's voice. "Is that you?!" It didn't sound so bad. Maybe today was a good day. Her hope faded as her mommy came into the room. Willow kept herself from crying out as the hand slapped her face. "When I talk to you I want answer you bitch!"

Willow stood there whimpering, trying her best to be invisible. She received another slap.

"Answer me!" Slap!

She stared at the floor. "Sorry mommy."

Slap!

"Don't you talk to me you bastard!"

Kick!

Her mother walked away, leaving Willow gasping for breath on the floor. The little girl slowly brought herself to her feet and crawled away to the confines of her room.

Willow collapsed onto her bed.

* * *

_"It's okay." She felt a soft hand brushing her hair lovingly. "It's okay to cry Sweetie." _

_Willow smiled as her dream woman comforted her. She let the tears out. Why couldn't her dream woman be real and save her?_

_She couldn't remember the first time Dream had come to her. All she knew was that she never wanted Dream to go away. She wanted to remain dreaming forever._

_"Guess what?!" If anyone wanted to hear about her day, Dream would._

_A smile tugged at Dream's blue eyes. "What?"_

_"I..." she smiled, "I think I made a friend today."_

_"Really?"_

_Willow nodded happily. "His name is Xander and I broke the yellow crayon and he said he did it and got me another one!"_

_Dream gave Willow a hug. "Wow!"_

_"Dream?"_

_Blue eyes sparkled at her. "Yeah?" _

_"Promise you'll never leave me?"_

_"I would never even think of it."_

* * *

Willow woke up to hear her parents yelling downstairs. She curled herself up on her bare mattress, praying that neither parent came upstairs. She didn't get her wish.

"Get the fuck downstairs you bitch!" Her daddy glared at her.

She slowly got off her bed and cautiously made her way past her daddy. He tripped her and laughed. "Clumsy aren't you?" he sneered.

She averted her gaze and continued to the kitchen. She took her place at the table. She wasn't allowed to eat anything; she could only watch.

Her belly rumbled as she eyed the food going into her parents' mouths. She'd have to go through the trash later to get some.

When dinner was over, she was left by herself to do the dishes. She grabbed her stool so she'd be able to reach the sink.

She reached for a plate and began to sing softly to herself that Dream had song to her. She decided that when she was big, she would marry Dream. Dream would take care of her. Dream would be nice.

"What're you doing?!" She froze, hearing her daddy's voice. "I asked you a question!"

"I'm cleaning daddy."

Punch! "Don't get smart with me! You were singing!" Punch! She could feel the blood running from her nose.

Willow back away fearfully. She ran. Her daddy grabbed her by the hair. "You bitch!" He smashed her face into the hard kitchen counter. "Don't." Smash! "You." Smash! "Ever!" Smash! "Sing." Smash! "Again!" Smash! Smash! He threw her to the floor and left her there. She didn't move until she heard the house door slam shut.

She hurt all over.

She wouldn't sing again.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Xander looked at Willow with worry on his face. Willow sighed, today was his eighth birthday, he shouldn't have been worrying about her.

She gave him a weak smile. "I'm fine. Just tired." It was true enough, she hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. She'd been forced to sleep in the freezer chest again.

"You sure?"

Willow groaned. "Yeah."

"Hey!" The two children looked to see Cordilla smirking at them. "If it isn't the loser squad!" She laughed at the two of them.

"Go 'way Cordy!" Xander glared at the girl.

The brunette smirked. "No problem, I don't see why anyone one want to be around you two."

Willow stood with her faced smashed into the mirror, repeating over and over that she was a "Bad Girl". Her mommy would be in soon to see if she was still at the mirror.

Her hand went to her stomach, where she had knifed by her daddy a year earlier. It still bothered her and it always looked red.

She always hurt.

* * *

_"Hey there!" Dream smiled lovingly at her. Willow jumped onto the couch and took a place next to the blonde. "How are you doing?"_

_Willow placed her arms around the woman's waist. "Please take me away." She tightened her embrace. "Please." _

_Dream's eyes teared up. "I'm sorry Sweetie. I wish to the Goddess I could, but I'm not allowed to se you. I'm not really even allowed to talk to you now."_

_"Oh." Willow was crying now._

_"But," Dream gave Willow a chaste kiss on the cheek, "The moment I'm able, I'll come. And I'll take you away. I swear it."_

__

* * *

__

Willow stared in horror at the site before her. _Oh Goddess, she thought, I'm dying!_

She stifled a cry as she stared at the blood in her underwear. She was dying!

She ran to the sink and began to scrub. She couldn't let her mom or dad find out. They'd...she didn't even want to think about it.

Willow collapsed onto the floor and began to sob.

"What's wrong?" Willow refused to let her mom see her face. "Come out with it!" Slap!

She couldn't say anything though, she was too ashamed of herself.

Kick!

She winced. There was yet another broken bone.

"Well?" Her mom glared at her.

She had no choice. What did she need any dignity for anyway? "I'm dying." Her mom laughed. "I am! I'm bleeding to death!" Her mom laughed even more. Willow felt her face flush.

Suddenly, her mom got a weird look in her eyes. A sneer slithered onto her face. "Yes." The sneer grew. "You are dying Willow."

Willow blinked in surprise. Neither of her parents called her by name when they were alone.

"What's going on?" She jumped as her father entered the room.

Her mom laughed. "The Girl had The Period." Laugh! "She's dying!" Laugh! Slap! Laugh!

Her father looked at her oddly as he left the room. The look he had given her made her shiver.

* * *

_She tossed herself into Dream's lap. "I'm dying!" she sobbed._

_Dream cradled the young girl in her arms. Even at the age of eleven, Willow still looked like a little girl. "Why do you think that Sweetie?"_

_"I'm bleeding to death!"_

_"I don't see any blood." Dream didn't laugh at her. "Where are you bleeding?"_

_Willow knew by the look Dream was giving her that the woman already knew. She'd tell her anyway. Dream wouldn't laugh at her. She whispered it into the blonde's ear._

"_Oh Sweetie!" Dream enveloped Willow in a giant hug. "You're not dying! You're becoming a woman!" Willow stared at her. "It's normal Sweetie, everywoman has it."_

"_Even you?"_

_Dream laughed now, though not a mean laugh. "Yes Sweetie, I get it!"_

_Suddenly, Willow seemed to deflate. Dream immediately got worried. "What's wrong."_

_Willow's cheeks burned with embarrassment. "I..." Dream wouldn't laugh at her. "For a moment...for a moment I wished I was dying."_

* * *

__

Willow gripped Xander's hand in fear. "I don't want to go!"

"It's just high school Wills!" Xander tried to reassure his friend. "Don't be afraid. I'll protect you."

She managed to calm herself down and thought of Dream. Dream would protect her.

Willow went in with Xander.

* * *


	2. Part Two: Childhood's Plea

**An Empire of Broken Toys**

Rating: R

Disclaimer 1: The heavens would weep with joy if I ever came to own Buffy.

Disclaimer 2: I do not own the songs Concrete Girl (by inknown) and This is Your Life, by Switchfoot.

Summary: Even as a child, when things got really bad, Willow Rosenberg never felt as though she were truly alone. She knew that there was someone out there looking for her. She just never expected to fall in love with her guardian angel.

* * *

**Part Two: Childhood's Plea**

_She walks to school with the lunch she packed_

Nobody knows what she's holding back

Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday

She hides the bruises with linen and lace

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask

It's hard to see the pain behind the mask

Bearing the burden of a secret storm

Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain

She stands hard as a stone

In a world that she can't rise above

But her dreams give her wings

And she flies to a place where she's loved

Concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night

The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights

A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate

When morning comes it'll be too late

Through the wind and the rain

She stands hard as a stone

In a world that she can't rise above

But her dreams give her wings

And she flies to a place where she's loved

Concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place

An angel girl with an upturned face

A name is written on a polished rock

A broken heart that the world forgot

* * *

Willow slowly peeked her head out of the bathroom stall. She sighed in relief, seeing that Cordilia and her followers were gone.

She glanced at her watch, _on the bright side_, she thought, _at least I'll miss gym. _Gym class was the worst, simply because that meant she'd need to change in front of people and into the gym uniform. Neither of those helped in the least to cover her bruises.

There was also that _other_ thing that kept her from trying to get out of gym. It was…embarrassing to say the least, and it would be even worse if anyone noticed.

Willow wasn't quite sure when it had started, but…lately she'd been…noticing…other people. Girls to be more exact. And as far as she knew, this could not be a good thing.

Even worse, she'd been noticing Dream. She sighed just at the thought of her dream woman. The way Dream's sapphire eyes would light up, or…Willow gulped…the way her shirt hugged her bosom.

No. It wouldn't do to let _anyone_ find out about her. She was teased, and sometimes even beaten up at school for less.

She was only half way through her sophomore year and didn't plan to make the rest of her time in high school a living hell.

"Hey Wills," Xander took his place next to Willow at their lunch table. They were the only ones that sat there.

The redhead took one look at his face and sighed, "What's wrong?"

The dark-haired boy groaned. "It's nothing, just my folks pulling out the beers again." The two sat there in silence a moment. "They didn't hurt me, don't worry." For some unknown reason, Willow was always concerned about whether or not his parents ever hurt him. Occasionally they did, yes, but most of the time they either just ignored or yelled at him. "On the bright side!" Willow looked at him, "I saw a real cutie today!"

Willow rolled her eyes.

Xander grinned. "She just transferred here! That means she doesn't know about…err…my rep yet!"

"You mean the fact that you're a loser."

"Uh…yeah." Xander flushed.

The bell rang. Willow sighed. "Guess I'll see you later."

* * *

"You could see me now if you just took easier classes." Xander grinned at her.

"Or you could just take harder ones."

"Never in a million years."

She groaned as the small blonde girl approached her. In all her years, one of the things she had yet to achieve was invisibility. Right now she just wanted to blend in with the wall.

"Hey!" The blonde girl greeted her enthusiastically.

"Uh…Hi." Willow smiled weakly.

"I'm Buffy. I'm sorta new here." Buffy smiled in what she hoped was a friendly way. The girl in front of her seemed very shy, and dressing in those _really_ big sweaters, well…but she refused to judge the girl by her sweaters. No siree! Buffy was not that kind of girl anymore. "I'm in some classes with you."  
Willow groaned, guessing where this was going.

"And I was hoping that maybe you could just help me catch up…or well…teach me." Buffy gave the small redhead her best puppy-dog eyes.

Willow didn't know what to say, she never wanted to let anyone down. "I…guess." She wanted to feel needed.

Buffy grinned and gave the redhead a big hug. "When should we meet? How about tomorrow after school, my house?" Willow barely time to nod as the blonde talked. "Yea? Great! I'll see you tomorrow!" Buffy walked off, waving at the stunned girl.

* * *

Willow slowly stumbled into her room. She'd bet anything that at least one of her ribs were broken.

It had been her fault, she should have known better than to interrupt her mother while she was watching one of her shows. She stared at the slip of paper in her hands. Her mother hadn't signed it; she'd need to find another way to get out of gym.

She grabbed the old radio from under her bed. She'd found it in a neighbor's trash a few years back and had put it back together.

She played with it for a moment, finding a good song to listen to.

_yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead  
yesterday is a promise that you've broken  
don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes  
this is your life and today is all you've got now  
yeah, and today is all you'll ever have  
don't close your eyes  
don't close your eyes _

this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, are you who you want to be

_No_, she thought,_ this wasn't who she wanted to be_. She didn't want this. She wanted someone to love her, to want her, someone that wouldn't hurt her.

_  
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be  
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose_

She could feel her eyelids getting heavier with each word. She smiled. She knew that she'd see Dream soon._  
_

_  
yesterday is a kid in the corner  
yesterday is dead and over _

this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be  
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose

don't close your eyes  
don't close your eyes  
don't close your eyes  
don't close your eyes

this is your life are you who you want to be  
this is your life are you who you want to be

this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, are you who you want to be  
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be  
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose

and you had everything to lose

* * *

_Dream warmly greeted the redhead. "It's good to see you Willow." She placed a quick kiss onto the younger girl's cheek. "How are you doing?"_

_Willow had to suppress a sigh as she stared at the blonde's lips. "I-I'm good." _Bad Willow…err…Me! Don't stare! Just because she's got GORGEOUS lips does NOT mean you…I…have to stare!_ "I…" _Change the subject!_ "I made a new friend…I think?"_

_Dream smiled. "That's great!"_

"_She's new at school. She needed my help to get caught up." She leaned her head onto Dream's shoulder._

"_She chose the right girl."_

* * *

Slap! "How many times do I have to help you, you bitch! Don't interrupt me while I'm watching my soaps!" Kick!

Willow tried not to whimper as she felt the blood trickle down from her nose.

"Get out my site you…thing!"

"What's going on?" Willow froze as her Dad entered the room. Ever since she'd gotten her period, he'd been acting different around her. She didn't like it. He still beat her, but…he looked at her in a way that she didn't like, and there was that one incident about a year ago…She hadn't even told Dream about it. It scared her too much.

He glared at her. "Well?"

She didn't say anything.

"I asked you a question." Slap!

She still remained silent.

Slap! "When I ask you a question you will answer me!" Slap! His hand lashed out, grabbing her by the hair, he dragged her over to the filled sink and dunked her head in.

Willow screamed. Water rushed into her opened mouth. Fear immediately ran through her. She struggled against her father's strung hold, trying to get him to release her, but her weak arms were no match for him, and she remained with her face pressed into the hot water.

* * *

Willow woke up on her bed. She felt terrible; she hated when her daddy did things like that.

She felt sick and immediately rushed out to the bathroom and released her stomach into the toilet.

She cried.

She awoke to see her father sitting next to her on the bed. She gulped. He did this every so often. Hopefully tonight he'd just sit.

He remained there for what felt like an hour, then left.

Willow breathed a sigh of relief.

She remembered what happened a month ago.

* * *

_Willow jumped, seeing her father sitting in front of her. She hoped that if she didn't say anything he'd go away._

_He sat there for maybe ten minutes or so before she felt his weight shift._

_Willow sighed in relief, thinking him gone._

_Suddenly, he was next to her._

_She stared wide-eyed at him. Her eyes grew larger as she felt his hands reach up to her chest. _

_She didn't know what to do, so she just laid there, hoping he'd go away._

* * *

He hadn't gone much further than that, but it still scared her.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Willow looked up at Buffy. The two of them had eventually become friends.

Willow sighed; her father had begun to get more adventurous in his…nightly activities with her. "I'm fine."

"Did I tell you about Liam?" The blonde grinned. Willow shook her head. "He asked me out! Dawn's being a pest about it."

"Th-that's great." She hoped she sounded happy.

"Are you sure you're alright Wills?"

"Yeah?"

"It's Anya isn't it?" Willow groaned at the sound of Xander's girlfriend's name. The girl had caught Willow _accidentally_ staring at one of the cheerleader's legs.

"Don't worry Wills, I'm sure she won't hang around long. She doesn't seem like the type." Buffy had somehow gotten the impression that she _liked_ Xander.

Willow may not have liked Anya, but she found it mean to say something like that about the other girl.

Buffy had no idea what was bothering her.

* * *

"_Are you alright Sweetie?" _

_Willow groaned, why everyone was asking her. They hadn't when she was little. _

_She hadn't told Dream about her father. She didn't really plan to. It wasn't the kind of thing that she wanted to share._

"_I'm fine."_

"_Willow, I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. You can trust me."_

"_Then why don't you come and get me?" Willow knew that she sounded mean, but right now she didn't care. She was just too tired._

"_I've told you before Honey, I can't. I'm not allowed." Willow scowled. "I'll come the moment I can." _

"_You always say that."_

_Dream's eyes filled with sadness. "Please Willow. Believe that I want to. Believe that it's the one thing that I want to do."_

* * *

Willow awoke with a start, seeing her father seated on her bed. She inwardly groaned and hoped he'd just leave.

She jumped as she felt her father lean on top of her. He smiled at her.

Willow froze as she felt his hands begin to wander. It was normal at first.

Fear raced through her as she realized what was happening.

She screamed and tried to push her father off. She couldn't. She cried and begged.

He wouldn't stop.

She screamed.

Her mother watched by the door.

* * *


	3. Part Three: Childhood's Hope

**An Empire of Broken Toys**

Rating: R

Disclaimer 1: The heavens would weep with joy if I ever came to own Buffy.

Disclaimer 2: I do not own the songs **"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" **by Green Day, and Twenty Four (some words changed) and Dare You to Move by Switchfoot.

Summary: Even as a child, when things got really bad, Willow Rosenberg never felt as though she were truly alone. She knew that there was someone out there looking for her. She just never expected to fall in love with her guardian angel.

**Part Three: Childhood's Hope**

Twenty four oceans  
Twenty four skies  
Twenty four failures  
Twenty four tries  
Twenty four finds me  
In twenty-fourth place  
Twenty four drop outs  
At the end of the day  
Life is not what I thought it was  
Twenty four hours ago

Still I'm singing Dream take me up in arms with You  
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago  
Still I'm singing Dream take me up in arms with You

Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong  
With all my excuses still twenty four strong

See I'm not copping out not copping out not copping out  
When You're raising the dead in me  
Oh, oh I am the second girl  
Oh, oh I am the second girl now  
Oh, oh I am the second girl now

And You're raising these twenty four voices  
With twenty four hearts  
With all of my symphonies  
In twenty four parts  
But I want to be one today  
Centered and true

I'm singing Dream take me up in arms with You  
You're raising the dead in me  
Oh, oh I am the second girl  
Oh, oh I am the second girl now  
Oh, oh I am the second girl now  
And You're raising the dead in me

I want to see miracles, see the world change  
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name  
For more than a feeling  
For more than a cause  
I'm singing Dream take me up in arms with You  
And You're raising the dead in me  
Twenty four voices  
With twenty four hearts  
With all of my symphonies  
In twenty four parts.  
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.

* * *

"Hey Wills!" Xander slid in beside the petite redhead. "You seem down."

"Again." Buffy added. "We're worried about you Wills. You're always so….depressed."

Xander grinned. "You should be happy. A few months and we graduate!"

Willow gave her two friends a weak smile. "I'm just nervous, ya know, college stuff."

"You're a genius Wills," Xander threw an arm around the smaller girl, "You've got nothing to worry about!"

The redhead glanced away. "Yeah."

* * *

She gently closed the door, careful for it not to slam. She sighed with relief when no one came to 'greet' her.

Willow quickly made her way up to her room.

Growling, she looked away from the textbook. It was so stupid! What did any of it matter?! There was no way that her parents would let her go to college.

Everything just seemed so…hopeless!

She felt horrible for feeling the way she did, but…she just couldn't help it. Sometimes…sometimes she'd just think: Today's one day closer to death.

It was wrong, she knew it. Everything was wrong.

Her room was cold and dark, and the rain pounded at her window, making it impossible for her to sleep. She rolled over in an attempt to get comfortable. She really wished she had a softer mattress.

She curled up, wanting sleep. Sleep meant dreams. Dreams meant Dream.

Willow smiled. Just the thought of the other woman cheered her up. Dream was what kept her sane, kept her alive.

But Dream was coming to her less and less.

With each visit, the woman promised to come to her, and take her away. Sometimes she wondered…if Dream was even real, if she was just a figment of her imagination, and if she really was crazy.

She curled up tighter, wanting sleep.

* * *

"Buffy?"

The blonde glanced over her shoulder. "Yeah Mom?"

The older woman hesitated before speaking. "I…your friend Willow…is she alright?"

Buffy frowned, "What are talking about Mom? Willow's fine." She looked at her mom. "Why do you ask?"

Joyce sighed, "Rupert and I…" Buffy couldn't help but listen to what her mom had to say if Giles was noticing something too. "She's…withdrawn…"

"So she's shy, big deal."

"It's not just that. We…Rupert's better at noticing things then me, and Buffy, I've seen it too."

"What? Mom! Please!"

"Her arms."

"What?"

"Her arms…I think…I think she's got some bruises."

"That's it?"

"Buffy, listen!"

"Willow's clumsy, you know that!"

"Buffy."

"I've seen her walk into walls and all. Okay Mom."

Joyce sighed. "Alright Buffy. But I want proof that she's okay. And if you notice anything, I want you to tell me. Promise me this. Promise me."

"I promise. But there'll be nothing to find." But the conversation didn't leave her, and would remain at the back of her mind, nagging her.

* * *

She sat fiddling with the radio, smiling as the music played.

_I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone_

It…hit home.

_I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
and I'm the only one and I walk alone_

The world slept through her pain, ignored it.

_I walk alone  
I walk alone_

_I walk alone  
I walk a..._

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone_

She had only herself, no matter how much she wished.

_Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah_

_I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line  
Of the edge and where I walk alone_

_Read between the lines  
What's fucked up and everything's alright  
Check my vital signs  
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone_

Everything was wrong.

_I walk alone  
I walk alone_

_I walk alone  
I walk a..._

She didn't want to be alone.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone_

_Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah_

_I walk alone  
I walk a..._

_I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a..._

Nobody wanted to know about her pain. She was alone.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone..._

And she didn't want to be.

Willow wiped the tears away.

* * *

"Xander?"

The dark haired boy looked up from his lunch. "Hey Buff! What's up?"

Buffy glanced around, "Is Willow here?" Xander shook his head. "Good." She sat down. "Have you noticed…anything with Wills?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Bruises."

Xander stared at her a moment. "I've got bruises and you don't care."

"It's not the same."

Xander sighed. "Yes it is."

* * *

"Bitch!"

Slap!

Her mother glared at her. "You have the nerve to come to me! Whimpering and sniveling! First about food and now your father!"

Willow winced as the hand hit her again.

"It's true!"

Her mother eyed her coldly. "What makes you think I care?"

She'd known! She'd known all alone! "That…that bitch!" Willow sighed, somehow, she knew it, she'd always known it. Her mother had always known about her father's 'visits' to her room. And she'd known that her mom had known.

Crying, she reached for the radio, needing comfort.

_Welcome to the planet  
Welcome to existence  
Everyone's here  
Everyone's here  
Everyone's watching you now  
Everybody waits for you now  
What happens next?_

What does?

_I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
Like today never happened  
Today never happened before_

She wished that none of her days had ever happened.

_Welcome to the fallout  
Welcome to resistance  
The tension is here  
Between who you are and who you could be  
Between how it is and how it should be_

Different. It should be different. Much different. I should have a good family, people that love me.

_Maybe redemption has stories to tell  
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell  
Where can you run to escape from yourself?  
Where you gonna go?  
Where you gonna go?  
Salvation is here_

I wish it were.

* * *

"Willow!" The redhead stopped walking as the blonde ran up to her.

"Hey Buff." Buffy looked…nervous. "What's up?"

"I….uh…You can tell me anything! You know that, right Wills?" She looked at Willow, her eyes pleading for an answer.

"I…of course." She quickly left before Buffy called her lie.

* * *

She glanced down at the grocery list in her hands. _That's almost all of it._ She went to cross the street when a flash of blonde caught her eye. _Dream!_

It couldn't have been her though, because Dream wasn't real, wasn't ever coming for her.

She curled herself up and cried. She sighed with relief as her father shut the door.

She hurt. She hurt all over. And it wouldn't ever stop.

* * *

She held the knife in her hands, watching it shine. "I'll kill him. I'll kill him if he ever touches me again.

She tucked the knife under her pillow.

* * *

She loved the public library. It was…wonderful. She felt…free. It was large and full of so many different people. And books. She couldn't ever forget the books.

It felt…it felt like someone was watching her. She hated that feeling. Her father did that. He stared at her.

She quickly scooped her books into her backpack and turned to leave.

A hand clasped onto her shoulder.

Willow spun around-

To face Dream

The two women stood frozen.

"It's you?" Dream spoke first. "Willow. That's your name."

Willow nodded. "You're Dream."

The blonde nodded. "Tara. My name's Tara. I…I tried to tell you, but…I don't know. I guess Dreams are just like that. I…I almost didn't believe you were real."

"You took care of me."

"Yes." Tara could only be a few years older than her.

Willow sighed. "Why now?"

"College. Something just told me…to come here. And college was the best chance to do that."

"But you're here now?"

"I'm here."

* * *

Tara looked around Willow's house as the girl packed her bags. It was…like a museum.

But this was the home that had caused Willow so much pain. So she hated it.

She'd never wanted to kill anyone before, but Willow's parents…

"I'm ready!" Willow bounded down the steps, suitcase in hand. She shyly inched up to Tara-

And placed a kiss onto her lips.

Willow blushed, as did Tara. "I've been wanting to do that."

Tara smiled and pulled in the girl for another kiss.

The door opened.

"What do we have here?"

Willow yelped, "Daddy!"

He sneered at them. "C'mere girl." He went to grab Willow.

"Back off!" Tara stood in front of the redhead protectively.

Slap!

"Leave her alone!"

Tara's eye's widened. A knife. Willow had a knife.

Willow's father's eyes widened in surprise.

Tara took Willow by the arm. "Let's go." Willow followed." Tara glanced at the father. "Come near her ever again, and I'll kill you."

* * *

"Are you okay?" Tara enveloped Willow in a hug.

"Willow nodded. "Yeah."

"I'll take care of you. I promise."

Willow smiled, and for the first time, it touched her eyes. People cared for her: Buffy, Giles, Mrs. Giles, Dawn…and Xander. Xander who had saved her as a child. She had to repay him for that. She and Tara would save him. And Tara, she had Tara. "I know.

**The End**

* * *


End file.
